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10 Commandments
Wow! Someone pinch me! I am writing on the Charmeleon
blogger’s blog! Being on this blog is an honor as it was on my ‘’100-things-to-do-before-I-go-to-meet-my-creator-to-ask-why-He-gave-me-an-armpit-look-instead-of-a-Brad
Pit-look’’ list. (Unfair!) It states clearly on my bucket list after No 45:
‘’Kiss Beyonce’’, ‘No 46: Write for the Chameleon blogger’. 1 down, 99 to go!
Before I start I should probably put this caveat out there
to ensure we have a good guest-blogger and reader relationship. Take whatever I
say on here with a pinch of salt. Life is already difficult enough. But make sure you read it anyways and go
to every of your friends house in the night with a ski mask on and make this
their home page on their computer without them knowing. (Nobody does that
normally? Neither do i)
Okay that should be enough rambling to settle my nerves, now
to the matter at hand.
You are probably thinking, ‘Oh why is the title the 10
commandments, is he going to preach to us?’ Keep Calm, curious Callistus! You
shall find out in due time.
Let me tell you a short story first. Just like every story,
it was a beautiful sunny day and I was playing football. I was about 12 and had
no worries apart from what color appropriate for painting the human drawings
for my Fine art project, so I was a free child running around chasing every
ball.
Only if I saw it coming!
While I was chasing the ball under the tree, I felt a sting
on my neck. I clutched my neck hard and fell to the floor.
*DUMM!* (Manage the low budget sound effect please)
A pregnant lizard had just bitten my neck. (This is the part
of the story you think the ‘actor’ is going to die!!)
But No!!!
I managed to get home and the next day surprisingly I was
fine. I realized however I could do amazing stuff! I could sneeze so loud in
front of a girl and she wouldn’t even flinch, she would just keep doing her
thing. I could even do bungee jumping right in front of her nose and she would
just be reading her novel casually.
That’s when it hit me!
That lizard bite gave me superpowers.
The Power to be invisible to girls!
I was pleased! I had always wanted to be a Super Hero just
like most people want to be super
heroes when they were little, surprisingly I wanted to be Samurai jack because
I thought it was cool to fight in a jalabia (translation - bath robe, I think)
and bathroom slippers unlike them other super heroes wearing pant on top
trousers or ridiculously tight leggings. In fact they had to dub my story and
change bits and bobs to make up the popular Spider man story of how he got his
powers. (seriously!)
I digress.... now back to my cool tale..
So every super hero has a weak point for example Superman
can catch an airplane like a Frisbee but acts like a wimp in the presence of a
speck of Kryptonite. My own weak point was and still is the ‘the friend zone’.
The power of invisibility disappears once I am in that zone and I become a mere
mortal like you reading this post.
So for me to have any sort of relationship (I mean your
regular day to day interactions) with a girl I have to be in the friend zone. If
I think of leaving that zone and taking anything a step further..
**PIAAAUUWWWWW** (I should probably stop with the sound
effects)
I would turn invisible again.
